Friends and family, read my story and write yours. The reason to write yours is to get a grasp on the story and see where you are and where you are being called to go. Use this as your first coaching session send me a personal email or post a comment and start a community of friends interested in your story.

I know there are many women out there who have never considered their personal worth, their destiny or their purpose in life as something to be grasp. With this work I want to inspire women all over the world to discover their purpose and live life at every age fully and joyfully. I tell my story to make a point about your story. I see the life I have had as interesting and unique. Many of my experiences are average but the choices I have made are my choices not the choices of my parents or the institutions that surround all of us in the United States. The gift given to me on this journey we call life; I have discovered is a gift of vision. I can see what my options are, I can see what others have chosen in the same situation and I choose life and I choose live fully and intentionally. I have had times when I did not do that; those times are also part of the story, so let’s jump in and tell the story it will explain itself. It started in a middle income Catholic family as the oldest child of four. We lived in Dayton, Ohio; we had a pretty simple life and moral upbringing. Do good, obey your parents, go to school spend time with family and the kids in the neighborhood everything else works itself out. Like most Midwest middle class it was the goal of my parents for me to live the same good life they had. Like most kids things were pretty simple until about 7th grade. The boy and girl attraction started; I believe this causes division between the girls as well as feelings of inadequacy. If the boys are spending lots of time with you the girls are talking about you and if the boys arn’t spending lots of time with you the girls don’t want to spend time with you either. I find it very sad to think the female population at age 12-17 is so very competitive and worried if the boy of her dreams is ever going to come along. I believe this is part of what our culture in the United States has done to young people and we carry the wounds inflicted by each other throughout our lives. I am sure it is a self identity problem, I do believe we as women need, as young as 10-12, something to give us value. We were created with a need for relationship, community and love therefore as soon as we are able to see that we are separate from our parents, specifically our mothers, we go looking for love in all the wrong places as the story goes.

I bring all of this up just briefly but have a feeling many of our first wounds and therefore the reasons for many of our decisions, good or poor, start right here. I was not raised to understand that there is plenty of time for the boy of my dreams. I think it is a great injustice we do to girls and boys to pass this time off a cute little game of he likes me he likes me not or she likes me she likes me not. Somewhere between 10 and 12 years old we gain a new awareness of ourselves that usually brings us up feeling less than adequate and many of us use our own pain to hurt others. We compare ourselves to standards that we cannot reach and continue to set the bar higher and higher never finding joy in the experience of life.

In the seventh grade I moved to a new house and a new school and had new friends. They seemed to be popular people. There was a group of seven of us girls and more boys that that. I did not know the rules and I am sure my mom did not know them either. My friends were drinking alcohol at the overnights at 12 years old in 1966. The parents kept their alcohol around and the kids took what they wanted. I did not have a boy fiend in the group and I was sad and broken hearted about it. I later learned the other girls and boys in the group were paired up and having sex already, that was why I was out of the loop. Some of the girls in the group as I know so often happens were even being abused sexually by their older brothers and cousins. I later learned the older sisters were giving some of them marijuana and alcohol at even younger ages. I came from a conservative farm community and had no idea what was going on. I was still young enough when I left the country that I had not been exposed to the drugs, sex and alcohol that went on in the city at that time. I managed to get thru the seventh and eight grades in school without too much trauma myself and went on to a vocational High School. At that time Vocational schools were a trial and a lot more strict than the general public schools. We had a work dress code which was very conservative and we came from all over the city. It made it harder for me to get together with groups of people except the ones I knew from my own neighborhood. My family did not have two cars so I was usually in my own home or the home of my elementary school friends. My parents were pretty strict and checked up on everything I said so when my friends were doing something my parent questioned I usually stayed home. Even so I tried to lie as often as possiable and get my way or the way of the group because I really had no way of my own (that is the important point about this age). God has given me vision and a preventive mindset for as long as I can remember but I did not always exercise the wisdom in my choices. I remember telling myself I was never going to drink the beer they were drinking, I eventually did, I was never going to use the words they used, I did, I was never going to lie, and I did. What is it about peer pressure for the very young that sets us up to break all the rules to get the approval of others? My family thought it was cute and just all in fun when the girls and boys paired up, I now know it was not. I was taught about God but never knew I could enter into a personal relationship with my maker. I never knew God loved me I never knew there was a plan for my life I never understood the depth of power that was available to me, to live the life I was destined to, I did not know I had a destiny or purpose I would be call into. I now understand how important it is for young people to know at a very young age; they have value and purpose. I believe it is important to know you are important and the journey of life is a privilege with purpose and opportunity for everyone. The very young can understand they will be given what they need along the way and no one other person is going to fill the void in their lives. Not only does it need to be told it needs to be displayed in the lives of the adults around them. An acorn has a destined design to be an oak tree the plan is written in the core of its being. If the acorn is put in the right enviormental, and given the right circumstances it will become an oak tree. Every individual has a designed purpose and a potential to be realized. If we walk in the path of righteousness and obey the principals or self respect and respect for others, the ability to grow in the direction of our purpose is much more realizable. We are given bodies to live out our lives in and if we take care of the bodies we have a better chance to realize what we can be. If we tell our children of Gods plan for them and encourage them to dream dreams for their lives and peruse purpose we can begin to train them at a young age to step into their destiny. I know from raising my children, boys and girls can be friends without the emotional trauma of adult behavior while still a child. I’ll move on about this for now so you will see a bit of how the past influences the future and how foundations laid in childhood effect the decisions we make as adults.

My personal story for your insight.

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